Natalya Antipova
Elev
Evne: Opfange signaler (Tanker og sindsstemninger)
Posts: 201
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Post by Natalya Antipova on Dec 17, 2006 0:17:16 GMT 1
Det her digt har jeg skrevet. Ville lige høre hvad I synes om det.. (:
"Daddy
Daddy wont you smile at me? Wont you show you're glad That I am your daughter Even when you're mad?
Daddy wont you laugh with me Like we used to do? I know you want those times back And daddy I wont it to
Daddy wont you talk to me? Tell me that you care Do this and I'll also Let me feelings share
Daddy wont you look at me? Can't you see my pain? Can't you see I'm slowly Turning quite insaine?"
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"Daddy"
Dec 20, 2006 16:36:59 GMT 1
Post by Lillith le Fay on Dec 20, 2006 16:36:59 GMT 1
*Tude* Okay ikke helt, men det er da rimende
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Garret Whiteman
Elev
Evne: Fysisk St?rkere
Still burning heretics under our skies, relegion still burning inside
Posts: 268
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"Daddy"
Dec 21, 2006 17:48:13 GMT 1
Post by Garret Whiteman on Dec 21, 2006 17:48:13 GMT 1
Det er rigtig godt! fin mening, og en god versefod, der som sagt rimer, uden at gå på kompromis med digtets emne. Det er noget jeg ikke kan prale af med mine digte (Hvoraf jeg har postet et godt eksempel her på siden)
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